This episode is basically a self-contained Fast and the Furious movie, if that film franchise incorporated actual arcane magicks, rather than just "movie magic." Magnus does some risky jumping. Merle takes a tumble. Taako summons a new best friend.
You didn't think our heroes were the only adventurers in the world of The Adventure Zone, did you? In this episode, the hysterical folks from The Flop House take over, introducing the world to a new, lovable trio of mercenaries.
Strap in for a two-hour D&D session starring Stuart Wellington as DM, Elliott Kalan as the Dragonborn Bard Jeremy "Scales" Fangbattle, Dan McCoy as High Elf Druid Lucian Buttwatcher and Zhubin Parang as the noble Tanzer Silverview.
BWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! That's the sound of a horn, meaning it's time for the Battlewagon Races we've been building up to for six episodes to begin. BUCKLE UP. Taako holds a coronation. Magnus leaps before looking. Merle gets a face hug.
Can our heroes secure their hairy compatriot and their arcane objective while not killing everyone in sight? Also, can they go five whole minutes without making a dildo joke? Merle soothes some anger. Magnus sets his axe to stun. Taako reveals his spirit animal.
Our heroes attempt a sneaking mission to retrieve a vital Battlewagon component, and end up doing something ghoulish that they'll have to keep secret forever. Also, a beloved character returns. Merle saves his heals. Taako grows a third eye. Magnus clefts.
Having straight-up embarrassed themselves in their first encounter with The Raven, our heroes look for alternative methods of defeating her. Merle channels a Train God. Magnus makes a fishy deal. Taako receives some bathroom aid.
In this installment, the question isn't 'Will our heroes survive,' it's, 'What's going to kill them first?' Our money's on either the elevator shaft full of sentient vines, or the godlike criminal waiting for them at the top of said shaft. Magnus has an embarrassing pants accident. Taako runs out of juice. Merle goes walking in Memphis.
Our heroes attempt to reconcile with Trent the Treant; a task made difficult by the fact that one of them just cut him in half. After that, buckle up y'all, because it's ELEVATOR TIME. YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH ELEVATORS. Merle befriends a crowbar. Taako does a rope trick. Magnus holds on for dear lives.
In this first chapter in a new Adventure Zone story, Merle, Taako and Magnus are in hot pursuit of a master criminal in the metropolitan city of Goldcliff. Can they stop The Raven before her crime spree tears the town apart? I don't know, because we haven't finished playing this part of the campaign yet. Magnus does some chopping. Taako learns to Nightcrawl. Merle has a genuinely upsetting encounter with some vines.
In this brief interlude between adventures, our heroes attend an office party — well, a carnival — at the Bureau of Balance’s lunar headquarters. They also hit up the Fantasy Costco, where they must match wits with their most fearsome mercantile foe yet. Taako makes a discrete trade. Merle tries on some cool-ass slippies. Magnus finally finds a friend.
In the final chapter in the Rockport Limited story arc, our heroes have little time to stop their runaway train from colliding with Neverwinter, potentially ruining some other group's D&D session. Magnus takes a tumble. Merle channels Gary Sinise. Taako does some pretty dope magical stuff.
In this penultimate chapter in the Rockport Limited murder fiasco, our players deduce the true culprit of the titular heinous crime. Merle runs out of magic. Taako finds more creative applications for Levitation. Magnus gets some fresh air.
The game is afoot! The game of murder-solving, I mean. The game of Dungeons & Dragons has been afoot for a while. Magnus finds unorthodox uses for furniture. Taako practices his interrogation techinques. Merle becomes a robot mom.
As you might have guessed from the title of the past few episodes, our heroes' journey isn't going to be an especially calm one. Because of all the murder, I mean. Taako mourns the dead. Merle finally plays his part. Magnus does one of the absolute coolest punches ever.
Our heroes board their fateful train to Neverwinter, and are rude to just about every single person aboard. Merle strikes out at evangelism. Magnus learns that he may not, in fact, have the biggest muscles. Taako just wrecks some baby carrots.
Our heroes attempt to make the best out of a swampy situation, and race to Rockport before they miss a fateful train. They also meet a beloved radio personality and spokesperson, and hold him ransom for MaxFunDrive donations. Magnus exhibits his upper body strength. Taako gets charming. Merle takes a stink-bath.
Our heroes are sent out on their first mission as Reclaimers for the Bureau of Balance. Their initial task is an impossible one: Do they possess the competence required to be on time for a train? The answer may surprise you, but — no, actually, it probably won’t.
Having passed the Bureau of Balance's punishing test of initiation, our heroes stock up on supplies and learn abilities that will help them immeasurably in the future. Merle finds a new god. Taako has a difficult encounter with a coin slot. Magnus advocates for moon-dogs.
Now that they can finally understand like, anything that anybody important is saying, our heroes seek employment in the Bureau of Balance. Merle brags about how smart he is. Taako accidentally encounters some life-changing intel. Magnus does horrible, horrible things to an automaton.
In this interlude chapter to the Adventure Zone saga, the mysteries of the universe are revealed to our heroes. Magnus has a good cry to some elevator music. Taako further unravels The Eldritch Riddle. It's about to get super weal up in here.
In this, the thrilling conclusion to our first Adventure, Merle, Taako and Magnus pursue their engulfed employer into the heart of Phandalin. Will they be able to douse him before things get out of hand? Also, are you going to finish that Luna Bar?
Merle, Taako and Magnus complete their rescue mission, but then completely fail an entirely new, far more important mission. Taako acquires a powerful artifact, and doesn't seem so stoked about it.
After solving a particularly difficult jelly puzzle, our heroes journey ever deeper into Wave Echo Cave. Taako meets a kindred spirit, Merle does some missionary work and Magnus does some really cool stuff with some chains.
With one half of their former employers effectively rescued, our party begins the hunt for Gundren Rockseeker in earnest. There are just a few things standing in their way: They don't know where he is, they're all Level Clown-Shoes, and also, a jelly monster.
Our heroes’ first job is not going especially well. Taako, Merle and Magnus are hot on the trail of their employer’s kidnappers, leading them into a perilous gerblin den. Will they discover the fate of Gundren and his ward, Barry Bluejeans? Or will they find themselves held up by complicated gerblin office politics?